Couples and Relationship
We're all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in to mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love. Robert Fulgham
Sacramento, CA 95811
My Approach RLT: What is it?
I work from a Psychodynamic/Attachment and Family Systems perspective. I am RLT (Relational Life Therapy) certified and find this approach with couples most effective. I also use IFS (Internal Family Systems) in my work with individuals and occasionally with couples when they are feeling stuck between conflicting parts or motivations.
I am interactive and direct. One of my biggest issues with traditional couples therapy is it is too neutral. Yes, it is important to hold each person in a relationship of equal value, but it is equally important to help each person hold themselves accountable for patterns and actions under their direct control. To this end, I support each in making the positive shift they need to have the relationship and personal experience they desire.
RLT is a Couples Therapy approach developed by Terry Real (Terryreal.com) over 30 years ago. RLT therapists help partners resolve conflicts, establish personal accountability, improve communication, and build stronger intimacy. The focus is on patterns of relating and the bad habits people carry over from past relationships (and history with one another) and how they can interact in new and more intimate ways. Clients will receive honest feedback on their role in the relationship, and support on how they can shift. This approach pulls clients out of shame and/or self-inflation and teaches the couple to engage in a more relational way. Moreover, each partner's family of origin is considered and ties made between roles and adaptive coping when young and how this may be maladaptive now.
This approach is not neutral. Kind in its intent and delivery, RLT therapists value personal accountability and learning how to manage and heal our own inner struggles rather than continuing to be let down when your partner is unable or unwilling to do it for you.
As a result.....clients report feeling empowered, clear, and connected.